aryssa90's Diaryland Diary

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There's a lot of stuff going on in my life right now. So much that I literally feel like I have to compartmentalize what I'm giving my emotional energy to. Now that the situation with my dad is over, I should be focusing on my uncle who is currently in the hospital, had one surgery yesterday and is scheduled for another to remove dead tissue that is causing a fungus which is currently making him super sick. They weren't able to get all of it the first time because it was too close to his brain and spinal cord which is of course a huge concern. Since he's doing chemo he has basically no immune system.

But there's also a lot going on at work. I had taken time off for Aj's wedding which left me feeling a bit behind, then the thing with my dad happened then last weekend we had Trev0rLive and after that, a video that Eugene Y@ng from The Try Guys posted about Trev0r went viral, up to the number 1 y0utube video I guess and the amount of callers we have had this week is fucking MASSIVE. On Monday we had over 600 people in the queue. Clearly we couldn't get through them all which is sad but it was also like omg, 600 people. So, the numbers are steadily decreasing day by day, last night we only had up to 150 in the queue but it's still intense considering there are some nights where all counselors are on chats but there are no people in the queue after that, no one waits they just get a counselor right away.

So with work, I really just don't have a lot of mental energy to give to be honest. I check on my uncle throughout the day but like...I just can't let myself get worked up about it. I wonder if something happens if I'm going to feel badly about that. Like yesterday, I was exhausted, I didn't sleep well at all and I was driving to work. Allison called out and I agreed to pick up her supervising shift. My mom called and just starts crying and telling me the news about my uncle's surgery and it being too close to the brain etc. And I just got mad, like, I'm on my way to work. I can't deal with this right now. I have too much stuff going on right now and this isn't the time to tell me some more tragic fucking news.

Bill is also sick now. He was just in the hospital when AJ was here. it's like a never ending cycle of sick people. I'm hoping it's just a cold but who the fuck knows honestly. I'm not mad at him, I really don't think he did anything to cause this. people just get sick sometimes you know? But honestly, I just can't cope.

I have more to write re: Tim, Trev0r Live, my holiday party but I've got to get to work.

10:19 a.m. - 2018-12-06

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