aryssa90's Diaryland Diary

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I feel pretty melancholy today. I don't really know why. It's probably my period.

I've been thinking about some pretty serious life things the last week or so. I've been thinking about my career and what I want out of life. I've been interviewing for higher paying jobs and there's stress in seeing how that might turn out of course. I've been trying to get back to eating better after the whole IUD and flu fiasco. I've been worrying about school and I'm pretty sure I got in but I don't know 100% yet. And then of course that means more student loans and more debt.

And then there's this whole idea I've been having of buying a house if this lawsuit ever finishes up and I get the settlement we're expecting. And so now I'm looking around at where I would want to buy a house and it's so difficult because there are so many factors like, kids and school districts and mortgage payments and like, who will be there with me. So it's just a lot. And like, needing to get my credit into a place where I can actually get a loan and not be embarrassed.


And the fact is, these are all big things that are going to take time and if I want these things in the next 2-3 years, I have to start preparing for them now. Like, the time to hesitate is through.

So just lots of big life choices and figuring out what that means for me.

I'm quitting Trev0r. I actually need to send that email today because I'm also cancelling my 1:1 with Adam tomorrow because I don't want to waste one of my days off stressing about that conversation.

I didn't get the first job I applied for but in the email saying I didn't get it, the director said another manager position opened up she thinks I'd be a good fit for and to email her in a few weeks to talk about it. Which sounds promising. And I have the second interview for the Palmdale place.

I'm a bit torn because the job in Palmdale is a bit closer to my heart but the agency in Noho feels a bit more comfortable. So I don't really know what to do. I'll guess I'll just have to trust in the process and see. And of course there's always the option of staying at the Center. I have so much down time I'll be able to do my school work there which would be nice.

So many life decisions. It's a bit overwhelming at times.

But something I'm looking forward to is having my friend over for the 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days premier. It's a dumb show but I love it. I'm making mussels and chorizo because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I'm also just making a butter lettuce salad with pear, some sort of cheese and a balsamic vinaigrette. Mango for dessert.

I'm v excited because for the finale I'm planning on making duck leg confit and bone marrow. I haven't picked the sides yet but I'm thinking of having poached pears for dessert.

May is my birthday month and I'm turning 30. I'm kind of thinking instead of a party I'm going to just do it big the whole month. But my plans have been changing like every day re: 30th bday celebration.

11:11 a.m. - 2020-02-23

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