aryssa90's Diaryland Diary

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My uncle is going to die.

It feels weird typing it even though I’ve had thoughts of it.

It might be sometime this week. Or it might be later. But if they are able to do this procedure tomorrow and it’s successful, they’ve decided to discontinue treatment. And if the procedure is able to be done tomorrow and it isn’t successful, he’s going to die. Pretty gruesomely actually, I feel.

Anyway. That’s been my life since Friday.


I had a delightful dream last night where Tim and I were in Asheville for some event and I made a friend from the production team who hated Calla too. It was kind of nice feeling that camaraderie and it makes me feel like it’s something I won’t ever have in his family.

Do you break up with people because of their family? Like there are lots of other things going on with Tim and me but his family might be the dealbreaker.

I’m not going into work until 1 today and I LOVE having this time to like wake up and decompress and sleep in.

Oh and I’m thinking of quitting my job and being a Trevor cw full time. It wouldn’t happen until April when I can find out how much money I’d get in student loans.

I was hoping to stay on at both jobs plus have the student loan overage but I’m really pissed off at my supervisor. She guilted me into coming into work tomorrow after I found out about my uncle which I think is just disgusting.

I’m here and I’m surviving and there are pockets of happiness in my life. But I’m really just trying to stay afloat.

11:16 a.m. - 2019-12-11

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